DAY 43: RESPONSIBLE

Miriam 43 – To have survived this period, dear Andre, and to see the light slowly approaching, was not that obvious at the beginning of our 1000km journey. When we started writing to each other, we did it, firstly, to make sure that the other was fine, that he had no symptoms, that he was safe. I worried about you a lot, and I can count many times when you, worried about my silence, wrote me to see if everything was ok. In twenty-five years of friendship I don’t think it ever happened. What does this all mean? Have we grown up, despite ourselves? I believe, more simply, that we have taken on new responsibilities that until now didn’t belong to us. I remember that, in the early days, I used to look at my children and think that their safety was in my hands. I wondered if I was really capable of protecting them. And, to be honest, I strongly doubted it. This new responsibility was crushing me, it wouldn’t let me breathe, sleep. Now, after more than a month, I have a myriad of new responsibilities, big and small, heritage of this “new time”.

I have the responsibility of the list of groceries: we must have stocks for at least ten days of autonomy. I have the responsibility to teach my children that this is a time of sacrifice, but without letting this burden them more than necessary. I have the responsibility to keep up the morale of those who, taking turns, start thinking a bit too much about the madness we are living at the moment (parents, children, husband, friends, colleagues, unknown people texting me on social media). I have the responsibility not to make my bad days weigh on others.

I have the responsibility to get back to work, but to do it in total safety. I have the responsibility to carry on a diary, because there are a lot of people, in these thousand kilometres, that every evening wait for our daily blog to tell us their stories and to feel less alone. I have the responsibility to create, every day, “good” memories of this period, small moments of light, to be able to look back, when all this is over, and be able to “save” something. These are only the first thing that come to mind.

But do you know what I discovered today? That my responsibilities have increased a hundredfold, it is true, but that perhaps I have learned to handle their weight, because I almost no longer feel it. And I want to keep them all and create new ones. Because now, without this weight on my shoulders, I wouldn’t be able to keep myself in balance.

Andrea 43 – This morning I read an article about the “responsibility of not taking responsibility”. In these days where we see the light, or part of it, our homes balconies have already started to distance themselves. Our 1000 red km project, which started when Italy was uniting in its physical division, seems to go against the stream: those who count fewer dead, today take credit, those who count more don’t take due responsibility. Both sides haven’t presented a recovery plan yet, only a containment one, and the good news comes from the fact that there are less infected people, not from some kind of positive economic indicator. The so called “union”, which politicians, companies, have used in their communication campaigns, with more or less famous people using hashtags such as #stayhome, #stayunited, #stayhomeandmakepizzaandbread, #stayhomeandsingonthebalconies that are now becoming #iamwith…

I became an adult when I realized that I could say “I was wrong” even without crying to win back a woman or when, while playing cards, you use one instead of another. To say I was wrong in the right moments, to build a success upon a mistake, is one of the two main prerogatives for those I consider responsible. The other is to ask ourselves a question: what do those around me want regarding my choices? I make this consideration because this quarantine has imposed on us a great pragmatism in our choices, and I believe that responsibility in this historical moment cannot be separated from this attitude: the content is more important than the appearance, the products and the services we offer are worth more than the processes that set them up, the words we pronounce are worth more than the place where they are written. Even here. Responsible